It's New Year's Eve, and despite my best efforts, my mind keeps wandering off and having a go at the annual stock take. I've told it to go and sit quietly in a corner and behave, but it just won't listen.
It's a tough one. I stay at home with my boy now, so what in the name of Quantifiable Achievements can I offer to appease my tragically disaffected ego this year?
I can't actually think of any.
There are the generics of course - I've kept The Boy happy and healthy, and The Husband in clean pants and socks. Priceless, or worthless? Answers on a postcard please...
Still, a quick reference to the progressive educationalist's lexicon makes things all better by allowing me to term 2007 a year of deferred success. Or I could take a peek at the zoologist's vocabulary, in which case, it is simply a diapause.
In any case, what it amounts to is that this is the first time in 14 years in which I have reached New Year's Eve;
- with the same man and
- in the same house and
- doing exactly the same job as I was at the last one.
Staying put isn't something I do well - ever since I discovered the joy of exercising control over my life, I have taken [almost] every opportunity to exercise it by packing up and clearing off whenever I found myself generally dissatisfied and disillusioned with whatever aspect of my life was in the spotlight that year.
Did it work? Materially, probably yes. Emotionally, no not in the slightest.
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose, as they say.
2008 should bring another house move though, as we need to clear out of here before the dreaded issue of Good Schools starts knocking on the door. It's currently a toss-up between Slightly Overpriced-on-Sea, or Slightly Overrated County Town, taking into account a) Good Schools b) The Husband's Commute and c) my unfortunate tendency to go slightly insane if I live/work somewhere that I dislike.
In other news, The Husband is very sick today. Whilst I feel incredibly sorry for him, I'm also a little relieved that we don't have to go through the whole 'what are we doing for New Year?' bollocks again. My plan so far is to open a bottle of champagne and drink it over a couple of hours in a hot bubble bath with a good book, and hope that he is well enough to fish me out when I'm drunk and wrinkly and toss me into my bed. It sounds like bliss, and I can't wait.
Happy New Year!
2 comments:
Not a long way back in time and to have reached a New Year with clothes, heat, and a food store would have been a win.
A bit further back, not having lost a loved one to an illness would be a win.
A bit further back, not having been eaten would be a huge success...
I'm not going anywhere with that other than to point out that everything is relative, and that your not having invented the calorie free chocolate cake this year means nothing.
If your chosen role is a full time mother your goals presumably reflect that. My concern would be that after these few years of meaningful, tangible goals "help my child walk, talk, eat, laugh and smile" - "teach my child to survive in the world" - "make my child's life as happy as i can"... how can you adjust to the random pointless targets many can aspire to?
"got that promotion which means an extra £87 per month"
"learned to type faster"
"got a new title for the thing I do that I now get an extra £87 per month for"
Surely your entire outlook on what's important must alter, and the petty world of the work place will be hard to take seriously? (or at least, you'll take it as it should be taken, and you'll find it hard to take seriously those who take it too seriously?)
I liked your post but if your little boy is smiling, laughing, learning, clean, fed, watered, and healthy - then your quantifiable acheivement is there in front of you.
Can you give some examples of acheivements you could realistically have made that would have improved upon that please?
Digitarry - welcome!
You are of course absolutely right.
However, like most children of the 80s, I was educated and indoctrinated into the cult of individualism - to see and justify myself in terms of my own measurable achievements.
Add to that a healthy dose of feminism - the dual notions that a woman must be strong and self-sufficient, and that relationships must be based on equality and what have you got?
Someone utterly unprepared for the culture shock that is 'staying home with the kids', who struggles with it occasionally, and worries about the future frequently, that's what!
And I know I'm not alone...it's just that not many women seem prepared to admit to their 'down' days - having lost our financial self-sufficiency, hanging on to the emotional can become a bit of an imperative!
You talk a lot of sense, so I do hope we'll see you again soon!
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