Friday 11 April 2008

Why don't men play the harp?

No, I don't need a male harpist right now, but this article about music and gender in today's Times got me thinking about the many stereotypes linked to the various musical instruments, and why things should still be this way.

In many respects, it makes very little sense. Children begin musical instruments at a young age, and an 8 year old girl is just as physically capable of learning to blow a tuba as an 8 year old boy, so why would she 'naturally' prefer something dainty like a flute? And what is it about the piano that has made it so universally gender neutral - actually I know the answer to that one; it's just so bloody useful for any musician, especially if you want to teach.

There are plenty of other stereotypes of course. Every music student knows that violinists are highly strung and neurotic. Oboe players are all a bit slutty and given to bragging about the blow jobs they give, whereas flautists often look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths, but underneath, they are even dirtier than the oboists. Finally, if you want to be one of the first with a pint of beer in your hand as soon the conductor's taken his final bow, you'd better place your order with a member of the brass section..


Viola players are universally ridiculed, I don't know why. Conductors are like Marmite, you either adore them or loathe them. Sometimes all at once.

Any girl can sing in a choir, but if you're a boy then you'd better be very posh indeed. There are no hoodies in King's College Chapel Choir, you know.

Organists are a law unto themselves, often just fractionally less weird than piano tuners, who are always men and sometimes blind.

I think it's fair to say that I've known - or known of - musicians of both genders for almost every instrument. The problem with minority instruments is that they are often very large - think tuba, bassoon, double bass, harp - and I can completely understand why parents haven't liked the idea of a girl old enough to walk to school on her own having to carry a heavy instrument that might not have been such a problem for a boy. I wonder if that will change now that kids tend to be driven everywhere?

But this is where my speculation falls apart. Harps are huge and incredibly heavy. Yet men just don't play them. Is it a skirt issue? All that flapping away on those pedals can really only be beautifully hidden by a long, flowing skirt. This is how really good harpists manage to look so serene - I promise you, they really are paddling away hell for leather under all those layers of silk...perhaps a bloke in trousers doing it would spoil the illusion? Who knows.

And before anyone jumps on me with this delightful example from the Jameson's Whiskey ad - sorry, but the harpist is miming. His name is Conny Bloom, and he is really a guitarist with a band called Hanoi Rocks. He can't play the harp. Nice ad though...and that is rare praise indeed from an ad-hater like me!

My boy is yet to choose his instrument, if he wants to, of course. The Husband dismisses out of hand the idea of him choosing a violin or flute; he wants him to learn keyboards or guitar. I'm very broad-minded on the subject, and will be working hard to make sure that the choice is a free one, and not unduly influenced by Daddy's stereotyping. At the moment, he has the temperament for a clarinet or bassoon - laid back, unassuming, won't throw a tantrum if someone else takes the best toys...

Just as long as he stays away from all those slutty oboists.

16 comments:

Maria said...

Conny Bloom is truly fracking gorgeous, though, isn't he? Boy, howdy.

My daughter plays violin, piano and harmonica. She likes piano the best, but is a much better violin player. I didn't let her pick her instrument. We had a piano and a violin and a harmonica...so that was what she learned. I had determined that is she wanted to play something badly, she would beg. She never has, so we are sticking with what we have.

What's laying around your house?

Helga Hansen said...

When Son was at primary school, they were encouraged to play a musical instrument, so he started with the acoustic guitar. Then he moved onto drumming (short-lived, thankfully!!), and suddenly, he wanted to learn to play the piano.

Now... Husband has been playing piano since he was eight years old, and yes, we do have his prized upright in the house, but neither of us ever pushed piano lessons as an option to Son. It was entirely his choice.

As Husband is a former musician, we have all manner of musical instruments and equipment for a band, but Son seems to be sticking with the piano.

He's done up to Grade 4 on his classical exams, and has now moved across to Jazz, and doing Grade 4 later this year (we have to stagger the exams this year, so as not to clash with his GCSE mocks, as he is now in Yr 10).

While I would be biased in saying I think Son is talented musically, I am pleased that he has inherited this gene from his dad - my musical skills involve strangling the neighbour's cat (or at least that's what it sounds like when I play the tenor sax), and I'm very skilled at the tambourine!

Oh, and before I forget... did you have to do the obligatory recorder lessons at school when you were a child... gosh, they were a nightmare!!

(Apologies for the long comment, Melissaria... I'll be stopping now!)

moi said...

Well, I've always heard girls had a hard time with guitar because their fingers weren't long enough to make the chords. In Moi's case, it was the fact that I wouldn't cut my fingernails. Oh, and my utter lack of intelligence when it comes to music, which I adore, just like I appreciate the Chinese language and the fact that the universe is run by physics. But I'll be damned if I can understand either one.

Ms Robinson said...

How fascinating - I had no idea of the politics of the orchestra. I don't want to cast aspersions on the husband but I suspect he's working behind the scenes the get the guitar to the front of the queue.

Melissaria said...

Maria: Agreed, absolutely! He loses a few points for not being able to play the harp after all - there was a rarity value there, but I'm going to have a listen to that band of his over the next few days!

There's all sorts lying around our house. Piano, synthesisers, recorders, a didgeridoo, ocarinas, all kinds of funny wodoen stuff from all over the world, and a new instrument called a Chapman Stick which needs to be better known. It's a 10 string fretboard, played through an amp like an electric guitar, but when you can play it, it sounds like an entire guitar ensemble, bass, melodies and all. It's brilliant. And I can't play it...yet!

I hope Liv is good at the violin - one conductor I used to know called his child's attempts 'learning the 'vile din'.

Helga: Oh God the recorder lessons. I'm dreading those....I love the sound of a proper recorder ensemble (with real wooden recorders, not plastic Aulos rubbish), but really, kids just love pulling the top bit off and blowing as hard as they can - sounds like the proverbial strangled cat - horrible!

Moi: I'd never heard that about guitars - think it would also apply to piano; I can barely stretch an octave so have to stick to early music, and leave Brahms and his big romantic chords well alone! I remember one male guitar teacher explaining that he had a hard time with female pupils - people often don't realise quite how far apart you have to get your legs to play classical acoustic guitar - it was trousers only in his lessons!

Ms Robinson: The Husband is definitely a keyboards man - used to play with a Bowie tribute band. He's good. I'm not sure where he's going yet - if the boy goes for keyboards, we don't have to buy another instrument - if it's guitar, they can jam together, which would be fun. Drums are off limits. It's sad that we can't play together ourselves, I can't jam, and he can't read music well enough to give a satisfying experience for both!

Queen Goob said...

I loved that you pagged so many musicians to a tee.

I love music. I am a bassoonist, saxophonist, pianist, and in marching band I hauled around a vibraphone (no I am not a large girl). A few Christmas' ago I went a little crazy and fitted our Florida room with a drum set, a bass guitar, two electric guitars, an acoustic guitar, and a number of amps.

My children are not musically inclined. :0(
(

Anonymous said...

Isn't the principal harpist of the LSO a man?!

Melissaria said...

Queen Goob: Wow a vibraphone - now that's definitely a minority instrument! In fact I think I've only ever seen it played live once in my life! My boy would love a drum kit - although I think on balance I'm hoping he'll stick to the piano!

Anonymous: Hmmm - did we once work together by any chance? You are quite right - a Mr Bryn Lewis has been Principal Harpist of the London Symphony Orchestra since 1994. This is what I love about blogging, there's always someone out there who knows the answer! Isn't it just typical though that in such a massively female-dominated field, one of the juciest imaginable top jobs is held by a man? I will have to go to an LSO gig now to see this wondrous rarity in action. Is he as attractive as Conny Bloom?

JW said...

My school recorder lessons will remain ever in my mind as a cautionary tale as to how not to teach children a love of music.

Ironically, then, since leaving school long behind me I've come to realise how much fun a recorder is to play properly ...

Anonymous said...

When trying to decide which instrument my children should take up I came across a book 'The Right Instrument For Your Child' by A Ben-Tovim and D Boyd. It suggested that you look at the physical and emotional make up of your child and match them to the instruments. If your child was sociable don't encourage them to take up classical guitare or piano as they are both solitary instruments. Instead guide them towards the trumpet or other brass instruments so they can play in a band.
Like all parenting books, I read, it made me think and I filed some ideas, but couldn't bring myself to whole heartedly use their system that they set out beautifully in their book.
But I absorbed enough to suggest the trumpet to my son whose enery seemed to flow from his lungs. Was it the right choice? He is still playing but has no wish to perform or join in a band. He decided 2 years ago to take up the drums and is an absolute natural at it. He is now fiddeling around with an electric guitar and is always twiddling on the piano (which I now think is the instrument I should have chosen for him!)
For my daughter I chose the piano. She struggled with it for a couple of years and then having failed to read music gave up. I then began to teach her the guitar cords which need no musical notation and fits in with her real love which is the voice. She loves singing and is in severel choirs. So, I end up with a stereotypical social girl and solitary boy, but I do feel that in the end they have chosen the right musical place for them.

Ms Robinson said...

A young father I know has bought his eight month old a very fine toy guitar and dresses him in Ramones T shirts. I sense desperation.

Melissaria said...

Ro: That is absolutely right - I don't know why they still insist on it. And any child who even shows the tiniest whiff of musicality gets forced into them too; I remember begging to be excused (aged 9) because I couldn't bear another minute of incompetent crotchet-based B-A-G squeaking, when there were friendships being formed and fun being had in the playground outside. I do wish I'd stuck it out on the treble once we got into ensemble playing though...it's a lovely sound when done well.

Tamsin: Welcome, and thanks for the pointer re: the book - sounds very interesting. Have you ever met Atarah Ben-Tovim? She is a legend - she was involved with an organisation I used to work for, and we met her a few times. She looks a bit like a mad bag lady, and then she opens her mouth and you realise that she is utterly formidable. Also a brilliant flautist. We were all secretly a bit scared of her...
I think the boy will struggle to avoid the piano - he already loves bashing around on it like the Tombliboos - but I'd like him to pick an orchestral or band instrument too - music is for enjoying with others as well as on your own.

Ms Robinson: Now that's just as bad as those middle class mums who make their child sit and listen to Wagner. What's wrong with giving them a pan to bash with a wooden spoon and a few verses of 'Wind the Bobbin Up' at that age? I didn't even know you could get Ramones T-shirts for babies!

LĂ©onie said...

What about cellists? Do we have a stereotype?

In jazz - trumpet players are aggressive, drummers a bit thick and keyboard players are sleazy. And the singer is a diva who knows nothing about music. I am trying to fight this particular one...

Melissaria said...

Cellists - hmm, well I have never known a slutty cellist...all the ones I've met have been really lovely; bit quiet maybe, but nothing to make fun of! The jazz trumpeters though - oh how they adored themselves!

I once turned up to a concert I was singing in to be asked at the door 'are you a musician, or a singer?' Says it all, I think.

ellie said...

I've never come across the stereotype of oboists being slutty. Stereotypes that I encounter frequently are that violinists are assertive, self-centered, and ignorant about other instruments, violists (and bassists) are idiots, cellists are laid-back and personable, oboists are talkative and somewhat bossy, clarinetists are shy and very intelligent, bassoonists are total dorks, trumpet players are egotistic morons, trombonists and tuba players are slackers, harpists are feminine and shallow, organists are old creeps, and singers are divas who don't know anything about music. I do, however, know a professional opera singer who is also an amazing pianist and can sightread like heck. It's really pretty amazing.

Milton Bulian said...

Since thirteen keys on the bassoon are controlled by the thumbs, perhaps a child who is not so dexterous (i.e., "all thumbs") would be a good candidate for this instrument. My favorite bassoonist was a close friend at Cal State Long Beach in the '60's whose name (I kid you not) was Horace R. Greeley. He was even descended from the original. Awesome musician and genius to boot!